Holding the Leash Lightly

16 May 2026

While walking the dogs today, I realised how much our walking style has changed since they were puppies.

In the beginning, we were worried they might run away, so we kept the leash very short, often wrapping it tightly around our hands to make sure they couldn’t escape. But it was frustrating—they pulled constantly, and we kept trying to restrain them. Walking time often became a rather miserable experience for both the humans and the dogs.

Recently, though, I started walking them with a looser leash. They still pull sometimes, but the feeling is very different—much calmer, and more like a normal, enjoyable walk. They’ve also begun responding to their names, so when the pulling becomes too strong, I call them, and most of the time, they stop.

It made me think about how similar this learning process is to parenting.

There seems to be an invisible leash between parents and children. When we hold it too tightly, they tend to pull away more, making the journey unpleasant for both sides. But when we loosen our grip, the walk becomes gentler and more enjoyable.

At the same time, the leash still needs to be there. It creates a boundary—something that guides, but doesn’t confine.

There’s a saying: if you try to hold a handful of sand too tightly, it slips through your fingers. But if you hold it gently, it stays.

Perhaps the same is true for both walking dogs and raising children.